When Things Go Wrong

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out--

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author Unknown

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again (Alex Tan).

Being a Teacher

I never thought of me being a teacher and I don’t know how I ended up taking education as my minor course in UIA. Admittedly, Mathematics is my favourite subject during my secondary school until now. However as I studied Math (especially Pure Math) more deeply, it became more complicated and too abstract to me. Lastly, I decided to take Statistics as my major course here. In fact, the choice that I made was not my actual desire. Let me tell you the truth. During my secondary school, I was so ambitious about Math. I planned to take Physical Science in Matriculation Centre, UIA and then further my study in main campus by taking Mathematical Science (with major in Pure Math). After finishing course degree, I planned to pursue my study for master and phD (also in Pure Math). I had such high expectation from myself huh? Well, it was my hope long long long time ago. And now, I am having my practical training as a teacher at a secondary school in Kuantan.

I feel lucky to have a chance being one of the teachers in the school. The school is the best rural school in Kuantan. So, the expectation for the teachers and students is very high. I can see that all teachers in the school work very hard to achieve the school target – 50% A in all subjects. Fuuuhh! That makes me worry. I just got the new timetable last week. From now on, I will be teaching three classes of Form 1 and one of the classes is the first class in Form 1. It means that the achievement of the class will determine my ability to teach the students and I have to make sure that the performance of students will be maintained or much better than before. Whatever it is, I’ll try to give my best as a teacher for them. It is fun to be a teacher, but the only thing that I don’t like is the extra duty that all teachers have to do in school instead of teaching. Okay, just forget about it.

This is the fourth week I’ve been in the school. So, I have spent almost one month here, being one of the school community. It was so difficult for me to adapt myself to the new environment. I try to learn and repair from mistakes I had done before to improve myself. Get knowing my students and their characters in class is the best challenge for me. I need to do trial and error a.k.a experiment to the students. The character of each class is different and I have to be a different person for each different class. It is important for me to play and manipulate my character in order to control the class situation. Otherwise, I’ll be manipulated by my students (by being too emotional and bla bla bla). Hehe…

I think that’s all for now. See you!

Langkah Tercipta - UNIC

Semalam aku kelukaan,

kecewa kehampaan,

mencalar ketabahan,

mimpi yang sering ku harapkan,

menjadi kenyataan,

namun tak kesampaian.

Allah…

Inginku hentikan langkah ini,

bagaikan tak mampu untuk ku bertahan,

semangat tenggelam,

lemah daya,

haruskah aku mengalah,

namun jiwaku berbisik,

inilah dugaan.

Dan mataku kini terbuka,

pada hikmah dugaan,

uji keimanan (menguji keimanan),

tak dilontarkanNya ujian,

di luar kekuatan,

setiap diri insan.

Allah…

Pimpinlah diriku,

tuk bangkit semula,

meneruskan langkah,

perjuangan ini,

cekalkan hati dan semangatku,

kurniakan ketabahan,

agar mimpi jadi nyata,

pada-Mu ku meminta.

Daku mohon agung kudrat-Mu,

wahai Tuhan yang satu,

segalanya dari-Mu.

Speechless

Dah lama tak menulis di sini. Sebenarnya ada banyak perkara yang nak diceritakan, tapi bait-bait perkataan tak mampu untuk menuliskan segala macam perasaan yang ada. Susah betul untuk menterjemahkan perasaan kepada ayat. Speechless, wordless and I ended up writing nothing…

Baru seminggu menjalani latihan praktikal di sekolah, tetapi rasa macam dah sebulan (penatnya). Mungkin ini baru permulaan. Banyak lagi cabaran yang menanti di depan sana. Cikgu-cikgu sekolah pun sedang menghitung-hitung nama cikgu praktikal untuk dimasukkan ke dalam program-program sekolah dan sudah tentu nama kami tidak akan terlepas sementelah kami sahaja cikgu bujang yang tiada tanggungjawab untuk menguruskan rumah tangga.

Minggu pertama di sekolah, saya diberi amanah untuk mengajar kelas tingkatan 1. Ada dua kelas tingkatan 1 yang saya pegang. Bagi saya, kelas tingkatan 1 memang mudah dikawal tetapi cikgu perlukan lebih suara untuk menjerit di dalam kelas. Disebabkan mereka ini masih berada di peringkat awal sekolah menengah, mereka agak manja dan sangat suka melakukan hal-hal yang memaksa cikgu untuk campur tangan. Kata kunci di sini ialah SABAR. Kalau saya tidak cukup bekalan sabar untuk hari itu, pelajar-pelajar saya pasti akan mendengar bebelan saya pula sebagai imbalan. Hehe… Jadi, bawalah bekalan sabar secukupnya sebelum masuk ke dalam kelas.

Sebagai guru praktikal, kadangkala ada juga kesalahan-kesalahan yang tak disengajakan berlaku di dalam kelas. Itu memang perkara biasa. Bumi mana yang tidak ditimpa hujan, manusia mana yang tak pernah buat salah. Jadi, kata kunci kedua ialah YAKIN. Setelah menyedari diri melakukan kesalahan, pandai-pandailah membetulkannya. Tidak salah jika mengakui kesalahan itu, dan yang paling penting jangan teragak-agak untuk terus membetulkan kesalahan ataupun memberi jawapan yang meyakinkan pelajar (budak-budak sekolah ni memang sangat suka mengusik cikgu praktikal).

Cukuplah sekadar itu. Sebenarnya, saya perlu belajar banyak lagi skill dan psychology approach untuk mengawal pelajar di dalam kelas. I need motivation. Kita biasa mendengar tentang pelajar yang tak mahu ke sekolah, tapi pernah tak kita dengar tentang cikgu yang tak mahu ke sekolah? Ya, sayalah cikgu itu. Okay, just kidding.. I believe that time will heal everything and I hope I can contribute something from this three months training. Got to go! Take care…